According to Webster’s dictionary,
Heart of Gold:
A Kind and Generous Disposition
Keeping in mind that the Heart is commonly thought as the center of all of our emotions, understandably, having a Heart of Gold has to do with love and expressing that freely to anyone you come in contact with. Helping others without wanting or looking for anything in return as this is just part of who they are. This is how God made them.
Have you ever found yourself somewhere with someone who, without even trying, seems to radiate kindness, compassion and a calming demeanor? If you have, you, my friend, have just came face to face with a person with a Heart of Gold and I am happy to say I was fortunate enough and blessed to have such a person in my life for over 45 years.
At the Michael C Kalal Charity, our hope is that you are able to come in contact with a person just like this. They often do unselfish acts of kindness and they don’t even realize that they have this in their personality to the point that it will impact others around them to such a great significance that people can’t even describe how they were impacted. If you are as fortunate enough as I was to meet such a person, then marry them and spend your life with them, you are truly blessed. I met my love at 18 and he was the only person I ever dated, but fell in love with just his “being”. His acts of kindness and generosity were just part of who he was and was so normal that even after he passed and I heard stories of what he had done, which I was totally unaware of, but it never surprised me as this was just who he was. We always said, when he was out helping others, that was just “Mikey being Mikey”. He did his acts of kindness, not for the recognition or the “’At a boy”, just because that was who he was.
These inconspicuous traits of these heroes among us could be described as one or more of any signs that you have come in contact with that rare person that has a Heart of Gold, even if they don’t realize it.
Telltale Signs you are in the midst of a person with a Heart of Gold. From my own experience of living with somebody that had a Heart of Gold, I believe they have their own Code of Conduct that they live by. This is not something that is taught, but how they are born, their character. They live this way their entire lives, rarely faltering on how they live and how they have this need, this drive to do for others. This is just who they are and there is nothing that will deter them from living by their own Code of Conduct, just as you cannot change the spots on a leopard or the stripes of a zebra, you are not going to change or rid them of this way of life.
Kindness
Kindness that exudes as it just part of the character of that individual. Kind to everyone in any situation. They tend to be so humble, they don’t even realize their impact.
No matter how much pain and suffering Michael was enduring, I found that outside the four walls of our home, no one really knew the struggles he was having. He was the one always looking out for others and would say to others when asked, “How are you?”, he would respond, “OK” or “Not getting around like I used to”. He did not want those around him to worry about him, have sympathy for him, as he knew no matter how bad he had it, there were people in the world that deserved the help and kindness of others. He was such a humble human being. I always told him that his pain and suffering made him the man he became.
Going the Extra Mile
Michael would go out of his way for anyone or anything. Although towards the end of his life, he was suffering with multiple afflictions, he would always go visiting those who were sick or had no one in their life. Always carrying treats for dogs if the person had one he was visiting as they needed attention too. When we lived in Cleveland, I remember one day when the “bomb” (a big snow event), hit the east coast of the country, he walked to the corner store and was gone for a very long time. This was before cell phone, but we had pagers. After an hour or so, I paged him, here he stopped at the neighbors to help drop a new engine in his car.
When the snow would pile up, he would go out to shovel our driveway and be gone for hours. When I would look out the window, he was going down the street shoveling the walks and drives of the elderly. Never wanting anything in return, not even a Thank You.
Whether playing sports or affiliated with any organization, he tended to be the first one at an event and the last one to leave, always giving the project 110% of his time and energy.
Being a Great Listener
Have you ever been around a person who actually listens to what you are saying and not trying to over talk you? And keep in mind there is a distinct difference between hearing and listening.
Being an amazing listener is something a person with a Heart of Gold possess as a personality trait. I remember when Michael worked for a private school as a bus driver (one of his many credentialed careers), one of the younger classes went to the zoo on a field trip. There was a young boy who just gravitated towards Michael holding his hand throughout their walk through the zoo and the boy was just talking. After they returned to school, a teacher approached Michael to see what he did as this young man would not talk with anyone and would not interact others. Michael stated, he just let him talk and guide the conversation, something Michael would do with everyone.
Thoughtfulness Abounds
People with a Heart of Gold often have an unselfish streak in them. They’re not just kind to people they know, but also to strangers, and even to the planet. Michael would always be found on the side of the roads picking up empty cans and bottles, whatever other tended to throw from their vehicles or had flown off the garbage trucks.
He was always there to help someone with anything. While in the Knights of Columbus, being a 4th degree they wore Tuxedos. One day when taking his to the cleaner, he walked in and smelled burnt popcorn. He asked the clerk, jokingly, “popcorn get away from you?”. They said, yes it got burned accidently and that was their lunch. After leaving the store with his clothes, he went across the street to Burger King and picked up a meal for the clerk and took it back to them. Gold Hearted people do not want anything in return, they are always paying it forward and they are just happy to do it.
Empathy in Abundance
Michael always had a soft spot for everyone that was struggling either physically or emotionally. This was just “built-in” to his character and somehow could always put himself in their position and figure out a way to help. Michael had this innate ability of understanding people, he would call it his “Sixth Sense” and wondered why more people were not tuned in like he was. He always knew the perfect thing to say at that moment to put people at ease and comforted them. He didn’t understand that this was a true gift that not everyone had.
Forgiving and Understanding
For me, this was a misunderstood trait of my husband’s but one I learned to understand. I would say he was the ultimate “Turn the other Cheek” person. He always forgave those who were not treating him fairly. I never understood that characteristic, but admired it about him. Never holding a grudge, but just moved on with life.
Always Encouraging, Uplifting and Supporting
As stated above, he was a bus driver for schools for a long time. Most drivers, when they did “field trips” or sporting events, they would drop the students off and all the drivers would meet at a restaurant until the event was done and they needed to pick the students up and return them to the school. Not Michael, he would go to the event, whether it was a play, a concert, a sporting event, always cheering for the students. He was as big of a supporter as their own family members and always would lend a hand in “coaching” some of them especially if it was a sport he would participate in himself. This gained him the respect of the faculty, coaches, students and parents.
Unconditional Love
Michael loved everyone unconditionally. No matter what you may or may not have done, that was in the past and he would help others find the best way forward; never judging. Always there just to lend a helping hand. This did not just apply to humans; this went for animals as well. Before our one “forever” cat became his best buddy, he was a stray in our back yard. To help this poor kitty to be protected from the elements, Michael built him a “condo” in our trailer so he had protection from whatever the weather would bring that day. We live in rural Ohio, so all sorts of critters are in our back yard. One year we had a deer that was clearly sick. She didn’t travel far off our property, so Michael purchased some hay and spread it under one of the trees so she could have a soft spot to lay down and had protection from the tree and somewhat from the elements. He was also known to get “special” food in for the injured animals that would show up in the yard so at least they had something to eat. And always saying prayers for them.
Michael did genuinely care about everyone around him, no matter what, there was never a prerequisite of who or what you were, he loved everyone. This is a rare trait but one that is second nature to those like Michael who clearly has/have a Heart of Gold.
Selflessness in Action
Michael would give to others in so many ways, by a visit, with a phone call, dropping them a note, anything he could to let others know he was there for them. One time, when my nephew Jacob went away to college in Indiana, he told my sister and brother-in-law that he would not be able to make it home for Christmas. Jacob, Michael and I came up with a plan. Michael drove, straight threw to the college, took a short nap, picked Jacob up and drove him straight back to our house. When the family gathered the next day to celebrate Christmas, Jacob was hiding. I suggested we call to wish him Merry Christmas before we opened up presents. By this time Jacob was in the next room, so when his phone rang, my sister knew instantly that Jacob was home. The look on my sister’s face and her screams of joy were priceless and the best Christmas present we could have given to my sister and family. This wouldn’t have been possible without Michael being willing to drive all night and day to pull this off.
Another example, we almost lost his nephew, also his god-son in a horrific accident and in the end, lost most of his one arm. Michael would travel to the other side of Cuyahoga county from Geauga county one day a week to sit with him so our sister-in-law could go to work and not worry about leaving him home by himself. Michael would buy food and cook dinners for the family for the week so they had one less thing to worry about and could tend to more important things.
Michael was always thinking of others, putting them first and himself always last.
Impacting Those Around Them
There are those I have encountered, especially after Michael had passed that told me that he impacted their lives. Some could not even explain how he impacted them only that he did, others were profoundly impacted by him. Others would say, that if they were struggling they would ask themselves “What would Michael do?” and move forward. I also heard when they were struggling in life, “Well, if Michael could do it, so can I.” I was often amazed at the last comment as this came from people that knew him well to those who knew him after a brief encounter that he may have had with him. Michael was a source of inspiration to all those he met. He was always kind to those around him and encouraging them. I always say that Michael had a way of teaching you without “teaching” you. It came about more from leading by example and always giving you “helpful hints” along the way. He just had a sixth sense about working with all people that he helped inspire.
We should all take notes and learn from those who have a Heart of Gold, as they truly are a rare breed in this world. Although as I stated, people with a Heart of Gold are born like this, we can certainly take some of the aspects of their way of living and attempt to incorporate into our lives trying very hard as I know this may be difficult for some. But in the end, it will improve both your life and the lives of those around you.